BBC2 did a video piece on the Phelps family of Topeka — the most hated family in America. I have a good deal of personal experience with the Phelps family. I lived in Topeka for almost 10 years, where one hardly goes a day without crossing paths with one of them or their protests.
For those who don’t know, the Phelps run a Baptist church near Topeka whose mission is to spread God’s message of hated towards not only homosexuals (or “fags,” and the Phelps would call them), but also anyone who tolerates the presence of homosexuality. They insist that God hates America, that America is doomed, and that pretty much everyone is a fag and everything is a “Fag whatever.”
Back in my early days with the Phelps, they spent most of their time picketing things that seemed directly tied to homosexuality. For example, they picketed the funeral of Kansas City composer Kevin Oldham (who was gay and died of AIDS) and that of Matthew Shepard, who famously died after an anti-gay hate crime against him. I remember them picketing nearly every musical performance I ever gave in Topeka, because inevitably someone that was performing was gay. Today, they don’t seem to make much association between homosexuality and what they protest. They protest everything. Lately, they’ve been making headlines picketing at the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq.
Not all of my experiences with the Phelps family were bad. I actually become sort of friendly with Sarah Phelps in college — I believe she was one of Fred’s granddaughters, and when she wasn’t picketing and singing songs of hate on the street corners, she was actually quite nice. She was a vocal major at Washburn, and the two guys she spent most of her time with at school were — you guessed it — gay.
One of my proudest moments was when I nearly scared Fred Phelps out of his skin. I pulled up to a stop light on 17th and Gage in Topeka, a semi-busy intersection where his family (which is extremely large, by the way) used to (still does?) protest almost daily. As I waited for the light to turn green, “Gramps,” as he’s called, crossed at the crosswalk in front of my car. I couldn’t resist. I put my car in neutral and stepped on the gas as hard as I could. Phelps dropped his picket sign, jumped sky high, and almost fell over. Most of the cars around had their windows rolled down on the hot summer day, and my scare tactics elicited cheers and horn honking. It was great.
The thing that bothers me most about my experiences with the Phelps is how much I grew to tolerate them. Seeing them every day for nearly 10 years, I because desensitized to their hatred. Oh, I spent the first couple of years getting in arguments, flipping them off, and generally letting them know how much I disapproved. But after I while, I gave up. I find that sad, though. If there’s anyone in the world that deserves my hate with pure, unbridled passion, it’s these guys. And I just didn’t care. I drove by them daily, pretending like they weren’t there.
I should have ran that bastard over when I had the chance.
001 // Jeff Croft // 04.05.2007 // 1:49 AM
FWIW, this is a photo of the girl I was friendly with in college:
http://www.pamspaulding.com/graphics/phelpsweb/P5050025.JPG
And I’m being completely serious when I say she was a nice girl. I liked her — we got along well. If you watch the entire seven-part BBC2 series, you’ll find that several of the younger females in the church are actually quite charming when taken out of the communal context. It’s a strange group, man. I’m really fascinated by them.
002 // dru // 04.05.2007 // 1:56 AM
Oh man, the Phelps…with all of my time in Topeka I cannot stand that family. I remember coming out of the Y and seeing 5 year olds being forced to picket. They just wanted to play but mom (whatever) wasn’t going to let that happen. Nope, here hold a sign instead. :(
003 // Josh // 04.05.2007 // 6:26 AM
I think it’s totally sad when people like this behave the way they do. For the record, they’re the exception and not the rule. As a Baptist myself, I’d be ashamed for anyone to associate me with that church. Totally sad. I wonder where they went wrong and when?
004 // Baxter // 04.05.2007 // 7:05 AM
They came out to Phoenix to picket Barry Goldwater’s funeral, because he had a gay grandson, and he “promoted” homosexuality when he said that government had no business in people’s bedrooms.
Anyway, Goldwater is to Arizona ike Dole and Truman combined would be to this area. Ya just don’t fuck with him.
I didn’t think they were going to make it out of there alive.
005 // Michael // 04.05.2007 // 12:23 PM
Ah, the Phelps. I remember the first time I saw them while visiting Topeka. Their signs were so obscene I wondered if they were even legal!
I find it amazing that one can hold a sign with a large icon of Santa sodomizing a man outside a church without having a meeting with Officer Friendly.
006 // Michael // 04.08.2007 // 7:49 AM
WATCH THE FULL VIDEO
007 // shmuel // 04.08.2007 // 5:27 PM
I find it sad that the most “hated” family in American is hated for hating. It seems worse than ironic that their hate would drive someone, anyone, to consider (even jokingly) the possibility that murder could bring anything but more hate. Isn’t this the error our president made when he got us into a “war on terrorism”? Terror on terror, war on war, hate on hate, when will we learn that only an additive inverse can bring equations like these to zero.
008 // Jeff Croft // 04.08.2007 // 6:06 PM
@shmuel: I do understand your point, and basically agree with it. Perhaps my last line, about how I should have ran Fred over when I had the chance, was tasteless — but do know that it was a joke, and I don’t actually hate these people at all. In fact, like I said, I was pretty friendly with Sarah when I was in college.
My favorite thing about this series was that it showed the Phelps as real people — and did a really good job of getting down to who they are personally, rather that what their message is, as a group. If you watch the series, I think you’ll find that only Fred, the leader, is very dislikable. Most of the rest of nice enough — some even charming.